Quote:
Originally Posted by Elektra_
i wish...
... i was important
... i was special as i used to think
... i was special to someone
... i was loved by a man thing that never happened
... i had a friend i could count on and hang out
... my house wasnt this hell i live in
... i was able to have a job and feel im good at something
... my therapist would actually give a **** about me
... i could say im pretty awesome and not be just joking
... someone would miss me
... i could actually be happy
but im just this freak that would never be normal caz she had the worst parents ever and will never be loved, missed or matter at all
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Remember,
our brains lie to us at every turn, every chance it gets, our defective brains tell us things to destroy us AND THEY ARE NOT TRUE... we are conditioned to believe them, we are used to it, and it works for us. I have to remind myself many many times a day that what I am feeling is potentially, and more than likely, a lie from my brain. The hardest ones are the self-lies, the lies I hear and believe about my personally, I am fat, I am ugly, I try too hard, ppl don't actually like me, people lie to me... these are the daily struggles I have. I have to tackle each one individually and reassure myself that it is a lie, and affirm the truth. Some days I cannot find the truth and I am hoping that my new therapy will provide answers. This is what I can do for now and offer. Remember, we are not bad, we are good, we are sick and not bad, sick is not bad, if we can do something about it; we will not be this way forever if we want to change and can change, all is not lost, there is a solution (many, in fact) we are loved, we ARE important, useful, needed, counted on and good.
__________________
"I may be on the side of the angels, but don't think for one second that I am one of them."
-SH