I'm sorry it's so difficult again.
I do not do well on meds, so my options are limited. I tend to keep with the intensive therapy stuff (or try to), and do my best to keep distracted. As Rohag suggested, are there any ways you can lessen the stress?
For me, going inpatient breaks the cycle of negative thinking and scares me back into balance. I have yet to figure out how to successfully remain "balanced" in the long run, but I think I know what some of my main depression triggers are. I'm working to get them lessened, and to work through my trauma stuff. Is there anything you can pinpoint that may be a start to finding more peace? The holidays tend to be difficult for a lot of people. If that is true for yourself also, is there something you can do to distract from all that?
((hugs))