I know Kluber-Ross talks about different stages after loss but it's not clear how long each stage should last. Sometimes people go back to same stage over and over again or one stage lasts a long time.

I think generally people try to avoid strong negative emotions, so be it deep sadness or intense anger at loss or whatever. I think sometimes therapists try to encourage people to deal with emotions head-on. Presumably that way you can get through the stage faster and better, than to keep self busy compulsively and not face the issues.

I've tried sitting in meditation and when strong feelings come, to observe them without judgement but usually as soon as I try to observe them they lose their intensity or my train of thought gets disrupted. So I lose touch with the emotion. I've tried to look at pictures or just lie down and say all the things I've missed about the person or thing or whatever I have lost. I try to write it down. I try to read books about people dealing with loss of all kinds. But not much success..

Are there particular methods or ways, ones you learned from your therapists or you have learned from your own experiences, that are helpful?