Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
I am so sorry you are not getting answers or closure either. It sounds like the best you can get out of his parents is that he is depressed so they may not know his real reasoning either.
Men "running from responsibility" leaving women to single parent has been a huge problem, so it isn't just "you" being challenged with this. I think many males in our society don't have a sense of responsibility, even have low self esteem and unfortunately they get so they panic at the thought of anything that might somehow
actually require them to grow up and commit.
I think that women don't realize what "love" means to some men either. I think many men themselves are also confused about "love" too. I think many of them only "love the attention and admiration they are receiving" and when that is threatened and they are exposed to another female that fills that need for them that becomes their priority. It has nothing to do with "your worthiness or your looks or being desirable either", it is all about "his selfish need" and I don't think "he" is really "aware" of that himself.
If you think about it, there were clues present In your relationship with this guy. You took him in, gave him love, provided work for him and he received care and messages of "you are worthy and I will love and take care of you". He was never really "ready" for being the person who "takes care of and provides for" and he just "ran" away in fear. He is depressed because he doesn't "really" understand it himself either. He isn't responding because he doesn't even know what to say to you or even his parents. His parents don't even know what to say to you and I think they are embarrassed.
If you don't mind my asking how old are you and how old is this guy?
OE
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He is 38 and I am 42........my daughter (age 21) text his mother on friday night to ask if he wanted her to pick him up to come and talk to me. My daughter said to her that I missed him and that he was missing out on the exciting times ahead.
She replied....thanks for your text....we too wish things could go back to how they were before but my son has been very hurt by all this and is very poorly. We hope your mother is well and the scan went well.
I feel that they are not embarrassed at all by his behaviour.......and that they feel he had been very badly done to!!!!
However, when I spoke to his father on the telephone just shortly after my daughter received that text he was completely unaware that his son ad made arrangements to come and see me on the monday to talk to me. He did not arrive and I told his mother this when I called on the wednesday night to say he did not arrive at my home on the monday as planned. She also said she was unaware that he had made these arrangements with me. So clearly they can see that he is not completely telling them all.
I did not tell them that their son had knocked me over protecting his mobile telephone either......and that is why I had the additional scans etc at the hospital. I told them that I fell. clearly he has not been honest with them either!.......I think that is causing his depression.....in knowing that he knocked me over and he is thinking about that and also why he would not let me have his mobile.......and also that he had said on the sunday night that he would bring the mobile to me on the monday....and we would swop mobiles......he could not come as I think he was nervous that something would come through on his mobile that I shouldn't see.
I am so angry tonight as he is making himself the victim......wallowing in self pity and trying to punish me in some bizarre way by having no contact and me running after him. I bet he is loving all the attention......from the friends he is staying with and his parents......and my family......
Well no more now......he has had his chances from me.......too many ......I have read a piece of research today linking high levels of stress hormone cortisol and adhd......so I am protecting my baby now....and my baby's father can grow up if he wants in his daughters life in the future.......he will get no more of my attention! x