For every depressive Christmas or any holiday is a nightmare, you have to try to act out of you comfort zone, the one you have perfected round you like a force field. I was and still am not a lover of holidays , all the over the top happiness i just cannot grasp . We are not being a misery its just hard to be cheerful on cue , I like working round my own day I never do anything I don't want, that way you avoid a trigger . I havent been on a holiday since the kids were little and it suits me fine , lucky the wife feels the same way we get out and about all the time but the comfort of returning to your own home each night is a cool feeling .