I don't have any real advice to give, other than to say that you aren't alone. I've struggled with similar issues and the only thing I've found that helps me is to find things (big things, passions) to pour myself into. If I can engage myself in something I love doing I seem to have less time for the dread/loathing for others and other areas of my life. Also, seriously, really limiting sugar intake (of all things) helps me get out of funks. Appreciate your open and honest post, things will get better.