NEWTUS:


I'M VERY SORRY FOR SAYING IT THIS WAY!

You know I said I was taking a break from Roll Call but I've been thinking about what you said Newtus. You said you felt ganged up on. I just went back through Roll Call and reread a lot of pages. I see that in the posts I was responding to a lot of things that you were saying. I even wrote the above quote to you. I can understand now why you felt like I was judging you or ganging up on you. I've been thinking a lot about this and I think I reacted so strongly about you saying that you punch your dad because of what I went through in my past.

I'm going to go out of my comfort zone here and share a little....

I grew up in many forms of abuse. My step dad would physically harm my mother who was Schizophrenic. He would also harm my brother and I. He would do this a lot while drinking. His excuse would always be that we were doing stupid stuff.

In my two marriages, I was abused. Always with the excuse I was doing stupid stuff.

Enough said.

This is why I said what I did when you said you punch your dad. I didn't realize it when I responded to you but now I've thought it through and I think hearing that just touched a deep spot in me that must still be very sensitive to the issue.

Now the wanting to lose weight and be super skinny is something I deal with on a daily basis with my 19 yr old daughter. She does have an eating disorder. Weight and being skinny is something she talks about every single day. It hurts me deeply. It is a very sensitive issue to me.

I know that these are MY issues. I in no way wanted to hurt your feelings, or make you feel judged or ganged up on. I want you to feel comfortable to post what you want. When I do respond to your posts it is because I do care and I want to help. If I can't help myself and I can help someone else then that is good for me. I have offered a lot of advice to you in the past and have even done research for your area where you live to try to help you with some of the things you were posting about. You don't live that far from me. Truth is I am not well either. My intentions are to help others if possible and learn from others when I can. And apologize when I have over stepped boundaries.

I greatly apologize for upsetting you in any way. I hope that you will forgive me for I am not perfect and I do make many mistakes.