I just checked Facebook. One of my former copatients posted something about how this past month she "almost died" from reaching apparently a very low weight. She described how sick and weak she was.

And I was intensely jealous.

I was also ashamed because I spent the same past month stuffing my face and being healthy.

I hate that she's proven that she is much better than me and deserves more kindness and kudos than I do.

I know. I'm a total sympathy *****. I should be glad that she had not died, and I am. I would never wish anyone to suffer like that. I just wish I had been more "almost dead" than she was, so I could bask in everyone's good wishes too.