I literally had the "Aha!" moment earlier today when I realized my mom has narcissistic personality disorder. Because of my current situation, I am living with my parents and they are supporting me financially as well. I recently had surgery for a torn labrum in my right shoulder and I haven't been able to work for almost a year now because of the pain. I am probably going to have another surgery in the same arm so unfortunately moving out of my parents house immediately is not an option right now.

My mom is impossible to deal with and now that I realize how and who she really is, makes me want to end my relationship with her now. I have been seeing my therapist for more than a year and a half and I love her. I don't see her again until next week but in the meantime I need some advice on how to deal with my mom. She is a school teacher and has the entire week off because of the holiday. I know she has no idea that I have figured out her true self and I'm thankful that at 30 I am able to come to this realization. But I don't know how to interact with her now because anything you say whether positive/negative about her or myself she will use it against me sometime soon.

I have an older brother and sister who I am pretty close to, but in the past when I have expressed to them about her behavior, they don't see it as clearly as I do which sucks because I feel alone and viewed like I'm the one who is crazy. I know that I'm not the crazy one and realize it's not my responsibility to convince my dad & siblings that my mom has narcissistic personality disorder. I know I need to begin the healing process which is why I am seeking advice.

I'm in a good place now with myself and I do feel it is best that I disengage my interactions with her. But I do hate my mom for what she has done to me and everyone else in my family (I understand hate is a strong word & its horrible to say that about my mom). I am no longer scared of her and I am the only one in my family who stands up to her. Every time she attempts to bully/intimidate me (I realized that people who bully are really insecure & use it as a defense mechanism to hide their fragile/low self esteem), I let her know that I refuse to put up with that behavior anymore. She is having a hard time dealing with me enforcing healthy boundaries because it seems foreign to her, but even that seems useless because it goes in one ear and out the other. She is toxic and I refuse to be a victim of her emotional abuse anymore. It's difficult realizing your own mother doesn't love you and that she just goes through the motions of how to show love but with her best interest as the motive.

Would it be best if I keep my distance and reduce my interactions with my mom for my emotional well being while I begin the process of coping and healing? It's going to be difficult to avoid some situations with her since I am living with her so any advice would be greatly appreciated.