Yes I'm sure it feels that way. But they will help you with the levels of their own competence and understanding. They don't understand pain at this level, I'm sure.

I'm glad you were able to connect the feelings to childhood, because now you can realize that they really aren't connected...and you can let that go. You know that having needs is only human, and not a bad thing, you know that now that you are an adult.

Having needs makes us vulnerable. And when we want someone else to meet those needs and they don't, it can infuriate us or at least frustrate us. I don't know why having to take care of ourselves makes us angry. It isn't logical. In reality, the more I can take care of my self the better I am. But, I sure wish others would do it for me sometimes.

Now, find the things that help you lower your pain.... I have to have typed listing of things, because I can't think of them on my own (even though I've been doing this for 20 years!) Make a list for yourself and then do as many as you can and need to for pain management.

Hopefully, in the future you will be able to talk with your MD about these flares and how you feel out of control and afraid of increased pain etc... and then she might also learn how to help you better.