Thanks for your support Miguels Mom, I know you are going through a tough time yourself and I appreciate it.

I feel really embarrassed having written this thread now. I feel so completely different today. I cant even believe I am the same person. I feel like I will be judged for going nuts, on a psyc forum, how silly is that!

My boyfriend came over last night and explained to me about what would happen if I cut out my own ovaries. At the time I didnt even think of blood loss, I believed that the hospital would just stitch me up and I'd be let out the next day. It didnt even occur to me how much damage I could do, I just thought it would be ok with a few stitches. I didnt have to take seroquel with him there.

They wont do hysterectomy's for people my age here, but it is an option for the future. Im going to try the mirena first because if that fixes the PMDD it is a simple fix. I arranged someone to drive me now so its just a matter of getting the final OK from the gyno. I still have ultrasounds to do first. The next appointment isnt until next year.

I am still terrified of next month. Had a good session with the t/pdoc this morning, she did ask me if I needed to go to hospital but I said no and she just told me she'd be upset if anything happened to me because she enjoys working with me. She did say I have to see the other pdoc ASAP and get some better PRN meds for next month. Im thinking about asking the other pdoc if there was anyway for him to get the gyno to move it along a bit quicker. I just do not know how I will survive another month when the hormones freak out again, it was seriously awful.

I still do feel a bit hopeless but nothing like last week. More fed up and tired. Impatiently waiting for this to be sorted.