I always find myself acting like a 5 year old when it comes to people I have a crush on. I act mean and seem like I have no interest in them when in reality, my mind is screaming "please save me. Make me happy. Treat me like a princess and make me believe I'm worth something." Guys haven't always been the nicest to me and in my mind they're all *$$*0%#%. I believe I'll be alone forever and will never find anyone who can tolerate me. I have a very low self esteem. I tell myself I'll never get the guy I want anyway so why embarrass myself and try to get him. I feel like they're too good for me. I have no faith in myself, but I can believe in you. You have at least put forth some effort into changing how you feel by losing weight. I'm still on the battle of believing I'm worth changing. But I wish you the best of luck in life! I hope you can overcome this awful illness! I wouldn't wish depression on my worst enemies.