Just know you're not alone. I'm also experiencing the same thing. I was scared of all of my friends getting tired of me, I used to talk alot about my ex with a few close friends, and one of them ended up betraying me. I felt alone, and yes, I've felt like, I'll never ever fall for anyone ever again. If i knew it would hurt this much. I have also been suffering for a year, and it's worse because I had to keep seeing my ex everyday at school, reminding me of the past over and over again, and suffocating me by talking to me about becoming friends after finding someone else because we're "supposed to move on and forget about the past". I swore to never trust anyone, I wanted to be alone.

So yeah, i understand how you feel. Maybe it won't ever get better. There will always be scars. Of course there will, she was such an important person in your life. It deeply hurts, and it perhaps always will. You probably will always have feelings for her, and that's okay. It's perfectly valid, even. I know how it feels.

We just gotta live with it, and concentrate on our own lives. No matter how much you loved that person, if you are not together anymore, there is no reason to not love yourself. Perhaps you've neglected yourself while in the relationship, now's the time to pick yourself up. How can you get better if you keep thinking about her? Make the effort to live again, yourself, without her. If you're able to do that, then surely it will get better. And of course, it will take time. You love her, yeah, we get it. But you can't throw your life away moping because of that love. Love isn't pain; pain is pain. Get rid of the pain, and start loving yourself. It's okay to love yourself. it's not wrong to compartmentalize your life and move on. All in good time, I'm sure a girl will be lucky enough to find you. But you gotta move forward first.

I'm still hurting too. Very, very much. But I'm going to be stronger from this pain, because it has taught me to be a better person. And I'll never stop looking for love, as a friend advised me, because it was something worth experiencing, and worth taking a chance.