Still in a bad depression. I cry so much, it's unbelievable. I hate getting up in the morning, and by late afternoon, I just can't wait to go to bed and shut out the world. I just want there to be an end to these feelings (sadness, fear, self-loathing, to name a few).

T tells me to journal and do cognitive restructuring. I don't even try because no matter how well I try to "correct" my irrational thoughts on paper, they're still there in my head. I'm beginning to think my therapy sessions are just a waste of time.

I want a full-time job in hopes that will improve my mood. My husband and I are on the same page about that.

I'm just hurting so much. I just need to share that with you all. I've never been in this bad of a depression, for such a long time. I hate it. Life is so difficult for me right now.

That's all . . .