hi lou and welcome to the forums........i have ocd also and only someone who does can really understand your post.....i can relate to all the issues that you mentioned and i've dealt with many more......what i want to do is give you some hope.....after suffering for 30 years with severe ocd....i sought therapy and went on meds......i have been on prozac for years now and my symptoms are 98% better.....you need to stay on the meds when you find the one that is best for you.......ocd is a chemical imbalance....you can't handle this alone.......if you have any questions feel free to pm me