Thanks for the speedy responses. I am glad in a way I have found a 'name' for the way I have been thinking over the last 4 years. Your right, it is hard to explain to someone who doesnt suffer with it what you are feeling as to some extent you cant explain yourself, only that you know its wrong. It makes me feel sometimes as though I dont know who I am as a person. I am due to go away and get married in 2 weeks time which I have been looking forward to for over a year now but I feel like the 'brother' thing I am thinking is going to spoil it. It's like my brain wont allow me to be happy. I wish I had never come off the tablets 6 months ago now as I was feeling really great. My doctor says that in my area they dont carry out CBT but has referred me to the surgery's counsellor so hopefully he or she will be able to helo me understand my weird and wonderful thoughts!