Christmas is a confusing time for me. Presents remind me of how bad the holidays were when I was little. Always something violent happened on, during, before and after the holiday. Any holiday even birthdays. But when I had my son I found great job when he opened a present he really wanted. He would look suprised and a big smile would come across his face. He is 30 now and that still happens. I now also have grandchildren and we love to see the joy on their faces when they open something they really wanted. It brings a warmth to Christmas. But the thought of buying me or the others a present brings back the dread. So we agree that Christmas presents are better when we are giving them to others. It just makes us feel good inside.