He's currently seeing a therapist - started right after she cheated and left. But we were together through it and he'd talk to me. So apparently the denial of how much it hurt him has worn off. He's being treated via cognitive behavioral therapy for his negative thinking about himself, previous risky behavior (assuming suicide attempt) and anxiety/depression.

I don't think he's jaded - in fact he's so hard on himself he blames himself for all the cheating anyone's done on him. He was once described to me as someone who looks "embarrassed to be alive". He's so kind and sad and out new found "friendship" has somehow been great. It's actually exactly like when we first met with talking all day, texting, laughing. Which is weird considering we spent a romantic weekend away three week ago. The only difference is now his distance. He'll look off every so often and just not be there. He cries easily and he's tired all the time. Wants to be alone all the time.

I know it's selfish but I'm having a hard week. I was so happy to just be there for him seeing him in so much pain I put my own aside. Now today though, I look at myself getting dressed and wonder, did I just repel him? Who just shuts down a relationship but still feels comfortable being as close talking-wise as ever. Acknowledging l the weird "I was just thinking that!" Stuff we have together. He says he's numb. I've read this might be a symptom and he'll be back - not that I'm counting on it. I'm just upset for myself today. We had so many plans. Tickets to things. But he has trouble deciding what to do for lunch now. I'm so completely heartbroken.