Here is an article I like very much by a therapist whose writings and orientation I also respect, about a healthy, healing type of love and commitment in therapy where attachment issues are present: Attachment Theory and the Healing Psychotherapy Relationship

I like this quote from a therapist who replied to the article also:

"I’m a therapist myself and I couldn’t agree more. You’re brave to say what no one dares say: after years and years of sharing the real-world, real-time pain of a client’s innermost struggles, real love develops. Without the love, truly transformative therapy cannot occur; it’s not a true “attachment” relationship. In many client-therapist relationships, narcissism poses as “love” which leads to all sorts of boundary violations, sexualizations, etc. that give real love a bad name. Let’s make the distinction. Love is good; narcissism is not. Cheers to you for being brave enough to speak the truth, and Merry Christmas to you, too!"

I think the word just is so loaded it is hard to accept it in a therapeutic context for many: after all, a lot (certainly not all) of the reasons we're in therapy are a lack of proper love and loving relationship modeling from our families or significant others.

I'm reminded of the development of the character Spock in Star Trek (yes, I'm a Trekkie along with all my other issues). At the beginning of the series, the Vulcan steadfastly claimed to have no feelings, they were so dangerous to his identity, personal and professional identity, but over decades, as with Dr. Burgo whose article I posted above, and my own therapist, who has been in practice 20 years, they developed the awareness and capacity to manage the reality of emotions, including love. Anyhow, I digress perhaps. It's past my nap time.