Thank you SO much for your advice. I know the best thing for me is to move out, but I need to be realistic that I can't move out right away. Unfortunately I do have to rely on my parents financially until I know if I need surgery, but that certainly doesn't mean that I have to put up with her abuse anymore. I quickly realized that I can take control of my relationship with her by not opening up to her about anything about myself that she will use to exploit me in one of her narcissistic rages. I agree with my relationship and conversations with her needs to be on an innocent topic. I feel right now isn't a good time for me to be able to tell her things she likes to hear even on innocent topics to make her feel good since I am just starting the healing process. Once I move out and am further along in my healing process, I can see myself being able to tell her things about unrelated/innocent topics to make her feel good without giving her information that could be damaging to me.

So it is safe to assume that my mom doesn't genuinely love me even though she goes through the motions of the idea of love? Does she realize or is aware that she is being abusive and cruel to me? Is she aware that she is purposely manipulating people to make them think that I am the one who is crazy? Does she realize at all that her covert tactics are purely evil even though she might not realize that she isn't normal?

Thank you so much for your help because you are right, I can't tell anyone what I have realized about my mom because they don't recognize how invested they have become to her narcissistic ways.