Going to continue with this thread rather than cluttering with something new

Well, the thoughts and confusion came back kinda mid afternoon... and been gradually increasing to the point where I'm just exhausted.

Have just been mildly amused in a black kind of way... I'm sure it's not their fault and it's either staffing or they are very busy (it is a voluntary service brought in to ease the load on mh teams)... but the phone number the crisis team gave me to call for when I just need some practical support and advice from 'trained' people (whatever that actually means)... kept telling me they were busy and then cut off... when it finally rang through... it went to voice mail and I had that awkward moment of 'what the hell do I say?' so just left it at name, number and that I'd probably be snoring at some point in the near future (prob the meds kicking in).

Looked at it logically as perhaps they had no one in tonight (highly probably) but by the same token I keep thinking of it as a sign as to why am I bothering?

Meh.

I don't know... everything I do seems painfully redundant.