I am having a hard time.There is a mix, a battle between the good and bad. 90% bad 10% good. My mom is sick AGAIN. F-ing again. Every time it seems. She is 99% sick, never just a cold. Yes, it might start off that way, but goes directly into bronchitis or pneumonia. Death angels will come... oh I meant Demons. This year my house has been surrounded by demons. On top of that an F-ing liar unless something changes which I will pray for tonight. Liars DIE. Liars go to Hell. I have had people time and time again toying with my emotion, in that it was worth absolutely NOTHING. This person said she would buy 15 prints from me. Then she was like... "It costs money?" And I responded WTF. Awhile ago I had this person basically hire me for doing their pet funeral commissioned artwork. I got my hopes up for that, but in my heart I knew she was lying. Yep, false hopes. My trust for people is nil. I'm even wondering about my friends except one. But I don't know. i am terrified to walk in a store, fearing for my life and mind. Waiting in the car, of course someone will kill me. The world fears my skills. I cause all hell on this planet and beyond. I knew the Dow will skyrocket but leave our family in the dark, with no recovery in sight. There is nothing to hope for, what is hope even mean? It ain't in my vocabulary. I have learned my lessons over the years not to trust another human being. Yes, there is God. But most people are demon possessed. They are forced to hurt others, cheat on others, lie to others, etc. I am so scared. I have a dark heart. I am pure blackness, just like a blackhole sucking in any light. Now I have no idea why angels have saved me before, why would anyone love me? Outside the family that is. The sun is too bright for me. You know how many times people promised things that they actually followed through with? I can count it on ONE hand. How many promises? Literally hundreds or even thousands over my lifetime. I've also had friends betray me. Bullies gang up on me. I have even had someone threaten to KILL me (not a delusion, it was a student at a school I went to). I know Hell awaits me. My life each and every year gets worse and worse with no upside. OK that's all for now.