Quote:
Originally Posted by Syra
She sounds very lovely. Clear, knowledgeable, supportive, accepting, and compassionate. Is it like that? If so, I bet it feels wonderful to have someone like that.
|
Yes, Syra, my T has all the qualities you listed. No wonder I see her as "more than" a regular person! I really do love her, in the normal sense of the word.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacq10
That sounds like it must have been a very difficult session for you. It also sounds like you have a very compassionate and understanding T who cares about you. That's big stuff... sharing your secrets... and it's always so nice to feel reassured that the world won't end (and might in fact get better) when they come out.
|
Yes, it was very difficult but my T was wonderful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie
How did T find out you googled her? I google my T's to death, find family members names, looked them all up in Facebook. Why would I need to tell them and open up a can of worms? I do not think it is boundary crossing. It is curiosity because it is unnatural to have a one sided emotional relationship with someone and that is the way to compansate.
|
I told her. It's a long story, but she already knew I've googled her in the past. It often triggers me when I do it, but SHE isn't upset by it. You're right. My T does NOT think googling her is a boundary crossing, but driving past her house is. When I looked up her H and kids on FB, she didn't like it, and it made me feel terrible, so I told her, and we talked about it. Yes, it's curiousity but if it makes me feel worse, and not better, and that happens often, it becomes an issue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacq10
I never thought of it that way, but that makes perfect sense! Thanks!  |
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepy62
I commend you on your bravery and honesty im sure I would not have been able to do that. Hugs.
|
Thanks, Sweepy. I've discussed the googling before, and I'd already emailed her about it. I went by her old house, a couple of years ago, and told her that because I felt so guilty. This time I wasn't going to tell her, but she kept asking, in a nice way, what else I found out by googling, so I couldn't bear to keep it inside of me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PumpkinEater
I agree with Sweepy. You are very brave, not only to have had the conversation, but to allow us to share in the learning experience with you!
|
Thank you, Pumpkin. I share because it's something I feel I have to do (another compulsion, maybe?) but also because others have told me it helps them. I sincerely hope my threads are helpful to others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
That is more powerful and insightful than you realize! It IS unnatural to have one-sided relationships - but it's not the one with our t that is the problem - it's that we have one-sided relationships IRL because of our issues. We tend to compensate the same way with everyone - ts hold back their participation so we can see our actions, our contributions, our compensations more clearly. I have a new friend that I have been telling t, makes me feel stupid. The question then is, how much of that is the new friend and how much is me? My family always treated me like I was really really stupid and worthless and unwelcome.
Rainbow, kudos on feeling hot and flushed! It's awful, isn't it?? That's such a good description. That's how I have felt when I asked my t if he was going to stop by my apartment on his way home from the airport from vacation. It definitely has to do with family and shame and stuff. Better late than never.
|
Yeah, especially when she asks me all the time: where do you feel it? I used to be self-conscious about telling her that I felt self-conscious! Now I just say "I'm blushing, my face is red, I'm embarrassed, or whatever. My T is trained in mind/body therapy, so she is very interested in my body!
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
