Hello

You say that you've been married for 10 years and I am assuming that during this time, it hasn't always been a bed of roses? I mean, you say that you have 3 small kids, right?

You are married to a MAN who doesn't pay the bills, yells at your kids, etc..?

You really need to ask yourself, will this ever change? Most likely, not. Especially when you are dealing with a man who really isn't a man, or a father. You should not stay in an abusive relationship while your children see this.

Maybe take a break from him, and I mean a break. You have to be firm, make the plans in advance on what or where you can go, and make him see he needs to make the changes, not you. Any man that makes up excuses that does not take care of his own family, is not worth getting verbally abused by. And especially to the kids, they will, if they haven't already, act out whether it be in school, with their own sibblilings, etc. Children learn from watching, not from listening.

You must be strong. ANd you must figure this out methodically and not irrationally. Since you don't have the income to support youself, you must see what your options are. Child support, living w grandmother, or friend, or look around to see how much a rental is. When there is a will, there will be a way, You just have to look in the mirror for both you and your children, or else you will definately lose more self esteem, since it sounds like that's what he's taking from you already.

Collect yourself, and make a positive change. If you can't find another place, there are women's groups, shelters, etc... that can give you advice and or help. Good luck. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Be Strong.