I do know the feeling. I had some things that I knew I needed to disclose but doing it was just awful. Finally I was able to write it down (that was hard in itself) and read it to my T (with my back turned to her as I couldn't bear the thought of looking her in the eye). When it was done and I got home I slept for 16 hours. But it's out there now and such a relief to have it done. Some times the anticipation of doing a thing can be worse than actually doing it. I know it's difficult, but I have a feeling that if you can get it out there you'll feel a whole lot better. Good luck to you and know that we are with you in spirit.