I'll be honest with her. And I'll tell her that I did it again this morning. Made a mark on my wrists but didn't actually cut it. I can't skip Thanksgiving..it's the only way I'll eat until Friday. I'm such a horrible mother, can't even keep food in the house because we're paying for my oldest brother to live here. I just want to give up, I'm done fighting, done trying to fix everything and make everyone happy.

Tried talking to a suicide chat last night and the lady made me feel worse by telling me that I'm teaching my kids how to cope. Just what I need to hear when I already blame myself for my kid's problems.

ETA: It's a week before that time of the month...TMI, sorry, but I know it has a lot to do with how emotional I am all of a sudden.