KD:

That was a great post about your terrible struggle over boundaries, especially with your mother. And you are working it out and feeling better!!! Wonderful. I strongly believe that your descriptions of changing your ideas about being dependent, discounted, controlled, self-doubting, angry, degraded, hurt, feeling un-deserving and scared can be very beneficial to other people struggling with the same problems.

There are so many ways to become dominated and powerless in the hands of others. The first glimpse of hope is seeing someone else overcome a similar problem.

You said "I could write a book!" Yes, you could. What a good idea. Also, consider asking your therapist if he/she would encourage you to write a book. And think about asking him or her if they would co-author your book with you. I'll bet he/she would or, at least, be glad you invited them to join you.

I had lots of questions about your history, the details of the family situation (such as why you didn't move out?), your social support outside of the birth family, etc., etc. All of which could be dealt with in a book.

It may be of help to you to read my section about gaining self-understanding by writing an autobiography based on an intensive journal as described in the middle of Chapter 15. I recognize (and you should too) that some people may be unhappy if you try to write such a book. But you have had some experience already with getting out of controlling situations. Talk about the pros and cons with other people who have gotten to know you on these forums.

drclay