Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
You did good. I think my t does that too - purposely plays dumb so you HAVE to specifically ask for what you want, and then he gives it to you, no problem. He makes you take that risk. He makes you experience the same shameful feelings rainbow talks about. But - it works. I asked somebody to hold the elevator for me last week while I unloaded my laundry quarters - I would not have done that a few years ago. I would have made myself late instead. So that was major, altho minor to a normal person!
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Yes, this. ^^ My therapist does this, too, and I think you're right about why, hankster. It's training. But it is SO annoying.
I had to have a money conversation recently, too. In July, my financial situation changed and I unilaterally decided I was going to handle things by quitting therapy. I told my therapist about this decision, and he was like "wait, back up and let's talk." (I have the push-pull problem too, and I think a lot of my discomfort about all of this is the attachment stuff, as much as anything real that's coming from my therapist.)
Eventually we settled on a really low fee, which is what I can afford right now. I kept telling myself that soon things would change and I would be able to afford insurance and make more money and I could pay him his full fee again. But when we talked about it recently, he surprised me by saying that he knew that my situation was not going to change any time soon and he was OK with that when he went into this agreement.
So maybe directly asking her for the weekly appointment is the thing to do. But I know it is so hard! That risk is scary...