Thank you for your comments and questions, CrimsonBlues. Yes, FB is open to anyone. I want to be clear about what my T said. She's never said that going on FB is a boundary crossing and she is not upset about it. But I get triggered and upset by seeing her photos and messages. (She doesn't have much there but it's enough to trigger me). I also got upset/triggered when I saw her H's and daughter's FB pages, and couldn't stop myself from looking, because kids are more open about their settings. We've talked about it in the past and, for MY benefit, not hers, she recommended that I don't look there anymore.

What my T said was that driving by her house was a boundary crossing.
I did it when she lived in a different place too, and I told her that time because I felt guilty, and also because it's part of my pattern of obsessing about people. SHE doesn't want to punish me; she wants to help me! I'm the one who feels like I should be punished. Part of me, anyway. My T is wonderful. Whatever I tell her, she says "let's be CURIOUS about it". She would never punish me!! She wants to help me so I won't repeat this pattern of needing to know everything, looking up information, and crossing boundaries, and doing it in a sneaky way, kind of like spying/stalking. It's the WAY I do it, and the compulsion that's the problem, more than the act of driving by her house itself. Same with googling and FB. I hope that makes it clearer.