It is truly a horror story!!! If you cannot afford therapy, you can always go to your local church... or any church close enough for that matter, and find out if someone there can help you with counseling. Where I live, it was the first help i got... I didn't want my parents to know that I had 'problems' so I went to our minister.

You need to talk to someone... you need some TLC and I wish I could give you a great big hug in real life!!! But for now....

((((((InACorner)))))

PS... don't say that it is not that bad... every person's own problems are the biggest to them because they see it close up... you are entitled to think you have problems, don't think of it as nothing.. it is something!!!!!!!!!!! And you need to deal with that something!