I have an idea: I am not sure it would help but here it goes:
Why don't you write a list of some of your special happy moments with her. Maybe a field trip that was exciting and fun, or a birthday celebration you two attended, or a fun holiday you remember sharing with her, etc. Use her aniversary to remember all the good times you had with her! Maybe it will bring a few laughts and good moments to your mind ...
Lots of love and a hug for you.

gab