Sorry to read, that you are struggling with this. All, orientation, aside, it's tough, recovering when there's even a suspicion that the person you desired to work on a relationship with(as you wanted marriage counseling/counseling, if I recall) may be with someone else.
Yes, you are working on, moving forward, at the same time, this gives new dimension, to the demise of the relationship, or it, could give new dimension. So, I feel for you.