Thank you for reaching out, PumpkinEater. I'm sorry you feel so sad but I'm glad you found some support here in this forum. I hope that your mother will reconsider and will find you, or at least talk to you. It reminds me of an old children's book, The Runaway Bunny.

I wonder how you'd feel if you reached out to her, instead, and even though she hurt you and you don't have a good relationship. Maybe Thanksgiving (if you're in the US) would be a good time to do that. If that's not an option for you, maybe you can spend time with others who don't have families--find a sort of surrogate family, like growlycat suggested.

It sounds like you're working very hard in therapy. I know it can be slow and frustrating, but that's the way therapy is. As for posting here, for some like me it's easy (I probably write too much), and for some it's not. Just go at your own pace and see how you feel.