[quote=scorpiosis37;3424140]
Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue
I'm trying to imagine what it would be like if I were a T and a client drove by my house. Maybe it would depend on which client it is. I'm pretty sure that if I knew the address of where my T lives, I would not be able to resist checking it out. As I ask myself, why?, I'm not quite sure - maybe to feel more connected?
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As a professor, I would compare it to one of my students driving by house. Even if it was a student I liked, that kind of a boundary crossing would scare me. If an uninvited person (especially a student) drove by my house, I would feel very violated and spied on and it would make me feel unsafe in my own home. Even if I didn't think the student meant to scare me or would ever harm me, it would make me feel unsafe because I wouldn't be able to feel "at ease" in my home. I would be wondering if they might look in my window, watch me walk my dog, watch which visitors I had over, etc. It would impact my quality of life and my ability to just relax when I walked in the door. It would feel like I was being watched, like in a Hitchcock movie (think "Rear Window"). Maybe is that is how the OP's T felt?
I agree that the CURIOSITY is totally ordinary, but actually following through and driving by T's house is not ordinary. It is definitely a boundary crossing because you are actually physically inserting yourself into your T's life and private space, without her permission. Even if you aren't literally on her property, you are basically trespassing by being there. She doesn't want you (or any client, or any uninvited person) to see her walk her dog, have friends or lovers over, take out her trash, go for a jog, water her garden, etc. Those are private things and we have the right to do them without someone spying on us. How would you feel if someone was driving by your house and watching you? It would probably make you feel uneasy too, right? That's why it's a boundary crossing; because it violates T's right to the private enjoyment of her house. After being at work all day, we want to be able to come home, put our guard down, turn our public self off, and just relax. We can't do that if we think someone might be watching.
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I actually have had a student follow me home. Keep in mind, I teach grade 4, and I'm a short walk from school. I live in an apartment, not a house. A few of the kids have figured out where I lived by watching me go into my building and then following me into it - and they've let others know.
I even had one of them knock on my door in the summer with his younger brother. I let him know that if he did it again, I would in fact report him for trespassing because he should not have been in the building (the doors are often left propped open which bothers me for exactly this reason).
That was in July. I haven't felt properly comfortable in my apartment since. I'm on the ground floor. With large windows. At least one of the kids who knows where my flat is? Who was never one of my students? I know that he's already involved with gangs here.
So does that make me worry? A little bit, yes. My flat is the easiest one to break into due to it's location. And I'm a single female. And I am decently well paid as I'm a teacher. Somewhat a prime target for different gang initiations here.
As soon as I can I am getting money saved to try and get a house. Because I don't even like to have my windows open because I don't know which kids will be outside the window (a lot of them play nearby), but I also always keep the curtains drawn because I don't want MORE of them to know where I live.
So yeah... major privacy violation that can affect the other person's life.