Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
It's confusing to me because I know she likes me very much, so I don't understand why going past her house would be crossing a boundary. I don't see the big deal about it. But anyone in RL can have a boundary I don't like, also. I have a friend who doesn't like me to know if she's going out-of-town. She's very private. I don't understand that either. But it hurts more with T.
What I heard T say was "I don't want you." (I know that's illogical)
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I think this part is really telling because it sounds like your understanding of boundaries is that they're only for people we don't like. Like it's not okay to set limits with the people we're close to. Like it's okay for your brother to spy on you because he's your brother.
But having boundaries doesn't mean you don't like or don't want another person. It's just letting them know what you're okay with and what you're not. For eg I have a friend who hates people tasting things off his plate, even his young children. He loves them, snuggles them and generally wants them near but he feels strongly that his plate is his. I, on the other hand think that intimacy is all about taking bites off people's plates or stealing their fries. But I really don't like my kids following me into the bathroom (they're little). My partner doesn't care about if they tag along into the bathroom. All these positions are legitimate. None of the boundaries is about not liking the other, just recognizing what makes you uncomfortable and asking others to respect that.
Your T is telling you google is okay with her, going by her house isn't. It's not about not liking you, she's just saying "hey, this is MY plate!"