Thank you.

Growth is a process...in my experience as series of processes. I look back and see what didn't work with me and why in therapy...we were putting the cart before the horse. However, I was constantly being triggered and didn't even know that danged cart needed a horse!

In looking back, I see how key it was to recognize first the clear lack of boundaries and acceptance, then attempt to figure out what I needed to heal. Another huge thing was that I kept getting stuck on "why".

Why???? No good answer. OUCH!!!! Retreat.

Along with recognizing and putting boundaries in place for self-care, I had to "accept" and sit with what simply was/is. There were no good answers for the why's; it was just a way to avoid moving forward for me. Mindfulness was huge there...just being and accepting everything/one around me as being as well. Oh, the many misperceptions and confusions I had along with no introspecition, self-awareness or self-acknowledgment. Whew.

The scary part? If I'm not careful, I feel that creeping up on me again because it feels so against natural for me. I was trained well with specific presets for reaction and action. It's hard to go against. That said, it's POSSIBLE.

KD