i have been married for 4 years. i am very confused about my husband's behaviour. my husband had affair someone else for 2 years. they both loved each other and wanted to marry but both parents were not ready. so they decided to seperated. and my husband decided to marry someone in his country.( i was in different country and my husband was in USA) his g/f tried to suicide here. so he came back USA. after few months, he came back to our country and decided to marry me. before our marriage, i asked him that did he had any g/f in his past? he said no. after my marriage, i found about his g/f from his cousin. he said that she might be joking. he lied to me second time. meanwhile, i doubted that he had something in past. but he always made excuses and i trusted him a lot. then after 4 years, i found proof, his old love letters written by her. i asked him in the beginning he did not tell me the truth then i said i will find out from someone else. then he told me that yes she was her g/f. then i asked him that did they had any physical relationship? he said that her g/f was not that kind of girl. i also asked him that did they hanged out, hugs and kisses? he said that i don't remember and indirectly said no. after few days, while i was cleaning, i found another letter . she said that " you give me joy and happiness with your hugs and kisses" i was so shocked. why did he lie to me all the time? when i compared relationship with her. i have nothing. they used to hugs and kisses. he had never give me lip kiss and hug from his side. he said that he does not like to do that. he never said that he loves me. my realtionship is weak from the beginning of my marriage. he used to talk to her 20 times ( may be more than that) a day and he does not like to talk to me. my sex life is not even interesting. sometimes once a month and sometimes 6 months a once. he said that he forgets her. but i don't think so. i want to talk to him about this that what is going in my head right now. but he always make excuses and tried to avoid to talk about it. i am so depressed right now. no one is here in USA for me except my husband, i want to live with him. i want to make my relationship works but i don't know how? how should i start to talk to him about my questions? our marriage is an arranged marriage, arranged by parents but he chose me too.