That's what my therapist said at the end of our session last night.

I was criticizing her. Been having a rough time. Been feeling let down too, but trying to balance out and be thankful for her too and be mindful of her, but anyhow, I blew it last night.

I'm in a little bit of shock here I think. I kind of rely on her. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what she's going to do.

I was having a rough time, and she promised to keep in mind I was fragile and to give me a safe gentle space, but I guess I was too mean to her and messy and she couldn't.

I can't sleep. I had a nightmare about starting a fire and it caught on my clothes.

I think she was tired and she had a rough week.

The rational voice in my head last night told me that relationships have complications and it will be ok, but I don't believe that voice at all maybe. Everything is a mess. I am so tired, and I shouldn't even say that, as if it were some excuse. I am struggling, but I have to do better.

When she said that, I told her I would listen to her very carefully and I wanted to be open to her and I understood I was criticizing her, she probably felt like I was saying she couldn't do anything right, but she would not answer me. She just said she was tired and ended the session.