I have PTSD so I know how hard intensive work can be. The pacing should really be set by the client. Being pushed with those intense issues is not good. A therapist has to be really patient and gentle around them. And when they do get worked on there has to space around it for a break so that normalcy can return. So it's a lot of peaks and valleys not just one straight path.

Wanting ways to manage seems perfectly healthy to me. Have you said that to her? I can't really tell but it sounds a bit like she's being too confrontational at exactly the wrong moment.

By the way, I know of a breathing exercise that was shown to me in the hospital so is based in science that works to calm yourself if you want to know about it.