So, I am starting to suspect I have had 2 periods of abuse in my life. One with a string of relationships around university, which I know about, but I haven't been able to shake this suspicion there is more.

I have always seen the world the way a SA survivor does, and have always been able to relate to survivors at a very deep level.
I have a tendency to date pedophiles (and only find out later, in bed) and men who have other very specific fetishes.
I have a dissociative disorder that no one has been able to properly class, but looks suspiciously like DID. I remember it having been there in middle school, because I remember talking about it with someone, but everyone thinks it started after university.
I've had this feeling that there is a memory just outside my grasp that I can't remember exactly but whenever this happens I start acting out and getting really suicidal.

Like last night where I dressed up like a doll and attempted suicide.

My boyfriend was there, and idk if he caught on or not but we ended up talking about the future and plans we'd made, and I didn't do it because I decided I couldn't leave him like that, especially since his ex died too.

I think I need to go to hospital, but I don't think anyone will listen to a girl who has no memory and no proof except a suspicion that something MIGHT have happened when she was a kid.

No one did last time. I got told I was faking it right after an OD.

And I still have school to finish. At least another 3 weeks.

Advice?