I absolutely agree, (((Tomi))), that if we can get that little bit of time from being triggered or tempted to react from anger/hurt/frustration immediately and examine what is really causing us to be feel as we do, (and it IS us that cause it, not the other or external - noone can make us feel anything), we can use other skills in that window of time to help figure out what is really going on.

Another acronym (sp?) that I think AA uses is H.A.L.T. = and then ask oneself before responding if I am Hungary, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, and if I am any of these, (and I would add another 'T' for triggered), then don't answer right away and, instead, figure out exactly what is bothering me and three options I have re: what to do about it right then, one of which can obviously be to do nothing.

As Sky mentioned, it's amazing I find, the misunderstandings that happen to me because I either jumped to conclusions and made assumptions without much of a basis, or took something personally instead of separating someone elses' 'stuff' from my own.

Good thread, Tomi! :-D