Im very sorry for your loss Blackrock. I lost my Dad to secondary lung cancer. I tried to help him but he was a stubborn man, people do what they want to do. Perhaps your Dad wouldnt have listened or would have helped himself only a little. Men are very often very frightened of Doctors, arent we all though.

Beating yourself up is normal. Its hand in hand with grieving, regrets and feeling guilty. What if...2 very mean words to be telling yourself over and over right now. Go with your grief, cry, break down and eventually you may see you did your best even if you dont realise it.