Hey. What an awesome list! I'm sorry you are struggling so much with this right now. I'll take one of these and lets have a look at the sorts of things one can do with it...

> 1.) I want to work / I do not want or like to work (to stressful)

Is it that... Sometimes you enjoy your work, but othertimes you do not enjoy your work because you find it too stressful? I guess there are a couple of things that one could do to reduce the tension / distress that comes from this. E.g., one could quit work altogether to reduce the stress. But that doesn't seem satisfactory because you do want to work (at times). one could quit that job and find a less stressful job. i guess there it depends how much you enjoy that job in particular compared with just working more generally. another option might be to cut down on the hours in the hope that that alleviates the stress. other things you could do would be to figure out ways to make work less stressful. these could involve changing things about work (where possible). these could involve changing things with you (with respect to how you deal with / respond to the stress).

i think that your list is amazing because they are a list of things that you are finding problematic and there are lots of options and things that can be done in order to improve each and every one of them.

would you be able to get a therapist? i think you might really find some benefit to being able to work through your list of problems so you have some idea how to deal with these ambivalences as they occur in life...