i've been thinking about not going back. in protest of his not seeing me for two sessions (because of the public holiday and his workshop / conference). that isn't very mature. but i've been thinking about it anyway. he hasn't emailed me about rescheduling yet. i guess he couldn't reschedule. maybe i gave him an incorrect email address and he has been trying... but no, i checked the address. he hasn't emailed me. i'm not going to see him for two weeks. i don't think i want to see him again... what is the point? he is taking a month off soon at any rate. get to trust him a little and then he goes away. whatever. i don't want to do this anymore.

i'm so mad.