Fighting your way out of depression is rarely a smooth transition. You take two steps forwards and then slide back one. Its a process. There really aren't any answers as to why so many people have to suffer in life. When I get to the point that I just want to give up, I think about where I am and how much worse things could get. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it helps.

I'm not sure what people are assuming about you. In the face of little information, people do make assumptions about a lot of things to fill in the holes of the things they don't know. Often they are wrong. What looks like normal on the surface, may be far from it inside. Very few people give up all their secrets to friends or co-workers. They may seem happy and well adjusted when in truth, they are actually hitting rock bottom and thinking seriously about suicide.

I wish you the best of luck. Being where you are is a terrible place to be. The only thing you can do is keep trying.

Sam2