Quote:
Originally Posted by archipelago
Well, but we as clients do not necessarily act in a usual way with our therapists. We are actually "allowed" to break social rules because it is assumed that we need help with difficult issues that keep us suffering and having symptoms that include not knowing about boundaries or social rules that govern relationships. It doesn't mean it's okay in the sense of being healthy, but it is okay in the sense that the therapist is supposed to expect and tolerate things like acting out or intensity.
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I think it depends entirely on which "social rules" you are talking about. After all, there ARE boundaries in therapy. In fact, there are more boundaries in therapy than there are in RL. In order for therapy to be productive, both the client and the T need to feel safe. Therefore, the client CANNOT threaten the T's safety. It is up to the T to determine what boundaries she needs in order to feel safe and do her job-- and to separate her job from her RL. For instance, it is not okay to physically attack your T, verbally threaten your T, stalk your T, etc. Just because a client might feel a compulsion to touch their T does NOT give them permission to do so. A T has the right to protect herself. Same thing with a client showing up uninvited at her work or her home. If those things threaten T’s safety, T’s RL, T’s family, etc. they are NOT allowed and T does NOT have to tolerate them. On the other hand, it is reasonable to put up with a client who lacks social graces and asks nosy questions, gets upset or angry at the littlest thing, frowns and is uncooperative, displays unusually intense emotions, etc. However, what a T may tolerate in session does NOT have to be tolerated outside of session. A T has the right to a private life, which is not interrupted by intrusions from her clients. If a T has boundaries around e-mail, texting, phone calls, drive bys, etc, those MUST be respected. Even in therapy, Ts have boundaries and, if we want to be treated by T, we have to accept those rules—just like we do with any professional. Doctors, dentists, chiropractors, etc all have rules of service, too. If we violate those, our professionals have the right to terminate our services.