The term "boundaries" did seem a little cold when I first began hearing it in the context of therapy. But since I've been back in therapy with my pdoc and T as well as in the training program, I really get what the whole "boundary" thing is about. Therapy is an unusual profession - one that has both the power to help and harm people. Because of the sensitive nature of the profession there are rules that have to be applied across the board in order to protect both the patient and the therapist. Maybe we don't all need to adhere to such strict rules, but then you don't always know that boundaries are necessary until they've been crossed. In some cases it can be quite dangerous (for a T or a patient, depending). Therapy is both incredibly intimate yet impersonal at the same time. You are telling your innermost secrets to a complete stranger, someone you know nothing about who has no preconceived notions of you. They are treating your issues without any personal context and that is the point. It is how a T can best do their job. There will always be the presence of personal feelings since they are human after all. And the feelings can be positive OR negative. They are not there to judge us. So even if a T likes you personally, it HAS to stop at a certain point - that is where the boundary comes into play. We are paying for training and expertise coupled with an objective point of view. No matter how educated your T is, once a personal relationship is formed some (or even all) of that objectivity is lost. I have a dear friend who is a LICSW and therapist. Because she is emotionally involved with me, it is hard for her to not be biased when I am talking about something that is bothering me. And honestly, when she slips and falls into therapist mode, I find it oddly annoying! When I go to my friends, I want someone to bounce things off of, to vent to, to just listen. To be a friend. If what I want and need goes beyond that, I know I need to go to my pdoc or T.

I think the issue of boundaries becomes a problem when the patient is missing love, contact and support they need in their personal lives. So, their T becomes this person to them. But the T's role in this case is to address the issues preventing clients from having relationships in their real life. Its also about setting limits and understanding that a T cannot be there all the time, much like a parent/ child.

The other issue is that the T cannot let their professional life become their personal life. Just like a teacher or a lawyer, it does not mean they do not genuine care for you. But there is only one of them and many of us. Not separating the two is only going to cause burnout eventually for the T. These guidelines were created for a reason, mostly because without clear limits for behavior more harm than good has been done. It can and often does lead to mixed signals, hurt feelings, over dependence...exactly NOT what the point of T is. Sometimes for the good of all, the profession has to set limits that may seem unfair. But in the end these rules are in the best interest of everyone.