Ok, had a moment of stupidity today... not proud of it but it happened. Basically, the thoughts became overwhelming after a trigger at work. Was ever so close to doing something I'd regret so decided to knock myself out instead by taking some of my anti depressant pills over the dose.

I'm pretty annoyed with myself now that I've woken back up, but by the same token it's demonstrated that I need to put some changes in place which includes considering the suitability of me working where I work (is a pretty miserable atmosphere there).