I think the problem is and the thing I see over and over on this forum is that you do NOT get to set the boundaries for the other person. If a T says that her boundary is that she does not do email (or hug or whatever), that just IS the T's boundary and the T has the absolute right to set that boundary. It doesn't matter is anyone else thinks emailing (or hugging or whatever) is a bad thing or a good thing or normal or whatever. Regardless, that IS the T's boundary and she has an absolute right to set that boundary and expect it to be honored. If a client disagrees with that boundary, that client can find another therapist, but does not have the right (in my opinion) to try to force the T to allow email or hugs or whatever.

If stopdog has a boundary that the T should stay back, the T should absolutely honor that, and if the T fails to do so, she acts improperly. If a T has a boundary that the client should not drive by her home, and the client does so anyway, then the client acts improperly. We each should have the right to set our own boundaries and expect those boundaries to be honored. Complaining about the boundaries someone else has set and attempting to stomp on those boundaries or break them down shows a fundamental disrespect for the other person, in my opinion.