Tonight, I realized that the only time my mom and I really connect on things is when we talk about the past. We rarely talk about anything meaningful, but when we do, it is always talking about the abuse and dv while I was a kid. It's not in a bad way either (though I know it makes my wife really uncomfortable. I suppose it should make us uncomfortable to a greater degree, but I tend to find some relief in it). Has anyone experienced something similar with a family member or friend who was also living the abuse? would family therapy help? I know it helps to know that I'm not blowing things out of proportion in my head, and that these events actually happened. (well, I know they happened, but sometimes it feels exaggerated even to me. but then my mom and I will talk about something, and she remembers most of it the same way, so it's somewhat validating). I hesitate to keep talking about it just ourselves because I think (at least on my end) I'm still not sure what direction to take things in order to resolve it in my head. I also have the ulterior motive of hoping my mom will find some relief in talking with someone about all this, and finally get back into individual therapy for herself. She has a lot of anger about her life and it interferes with the present day (it is one of the huge reasons we live like roommates instead of family). I think it would help her a lot to be able to address all that with someone. Even if she doesn't end up going to individual, I think it may help our relationship to address the trauma together. If we don't, I'm afraid our family skeletons will forever follow us.